| The Ministry of Comfort |
Chapter 22 |
Page 4 |
This spectacle is not uncommon among young people in their relations with each other. There are some who demand absolute and exclusive monopoly in their friendships. They are ardent in their devotion to the person on whom they fasten their affection, but that person must become wholly theirs, scarcely treating any other one respectfully, certainly showing no cordiality to any one. If the object of their attachment fails to be absorbedly loyal, the doting friend pouts and sulks and whimpers, “You don’t care for me any more!” Such conduct may be tolerated in children, but in young people who are past the years of childhood it is the token of a sickly and most unwholesome sentimentality.
A beautiful friendship is one that is generous and trustful, not exacting and unreasonable in its demands, that is willing and glad to see others esteemed and honoured, and sharing in affection and regard. Yet too many people are selfish in their friendships, not only demanding the first place, but insisting that no other one shall be admitted to any second or third place, even that no one else shall be treated with common courtesy. Such persons are not fit to have friends. Even the most childish child rarely shows such a spirit. Envy and jealousy are most unlovely, and are unworthy of any one, especially of any one who bears the Christian name, and are certainly to be set down among the childish things which should be put away by all on becoming men and women.
There are other manifestations of feeling and disposition which should be left behind by all who grow up into maturity of life. St. Paul names many qualities which have no rightful place in a Christian life and which should be put away – anger, wrath, malice, railing, and shameful speaking. There are many good people, good in the great features of life and character, who are very hard to live with. They are thoughtless, ungentle, uncontrolled in speech. They lack the graces of kindliness and helpfulness. While they are honest, true, strong, upright, they are wanting in the refinements of life which in the last analysis are essential to real lovableness of character, and which make a person winsome, agreeable, companionable, and pleasant to get along with in intimate relations.
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